Photo is of smoke from our morning campfire at an undisclosed location somewhere on the back of Pikes Peak, August, 2011.
spiritual health
What Is Your Relationship to Silence? – Danielle LaPorte
Danielle LaPorte asks her burning question of the week. What is your relationship to silence? I found this a very intriguing question. As I began to ponder the question I wondered how many uber-busy people out there would even get the question. In a time of e-mail, Facebook, smart phones, electronic tablets, and huge TVs, I began to wonder how many people actually know what real silence is anymore. If I grabbed fifty of my Facebook friends and asked them if they meditated or spent any time in silence on a regular basis, what would I find? I suspect that very few would respond that they do.
For me silence is comforting. The world has become a noisy, dirty, mean, joyous, frenetic, volume on max, cacophony of speedy activity. I guess I’m kind of old fashioned or maybe it’s because I’ve found that my best writing comes to me out of silence. I own an android phone, I have a Facebook account, email, and entertainment system that includes a 47” flat screen TV, as big ‘ol stereo receiver and surround sound, but I spend the majority of my day – quiet. I’m sure that will change once I find a day gig to support me while I’m writing, but for now, I relish each quiet day. I don’t turn on the 47” TV during the day. In fact it is off until my husband gets home from work in the evening. Most days, I don’t even turn on my favorite companion, music. It’s fabulous, but then I’ve always been the kind of person who grabbed a bit of silence whenever I could. Don’t get me wrong though, I also do my fair share of making noise and running around like a madwoman.
Silence is refreshing. Silence is grounding. Silence is soothing. Silence is the place where the infinite, the holy, and I meet. Silence is the place where my angel wraps her wings around me and gives me strength. In silence my spirit rests. In silence I find the beauty of my own spirit. Silence makes no demands and yet its incredible power changes lives.
I appreciate the quiet moments in my life. Not long ago, my son and I sat in the living room, each on our respective computer. Me working on a story and he working on some video editing, I believe. We sat silently working for some time and I deeply appreciated the fact that this person who had been raised with all the modern day distractions our electronic era has to offer, could still sit comfortably in silence with another. He is a mere twenty-one years old and is already wiser in the ways of silence than many other adults I know.
Obviously I think silence is a good thing. I think everyone should get a little bit of it every day. Not necessarily in the form of intentional meditation, but if nothing else, to unplug for a while. In taking a moment to hear yourself, you connect to the divine or higher self. Silence allows us to give our brains a rest from the myriad of stimuli that are thrown at it every other second of the day. I know a few people, myself included, who tend to go outside, take a walk or find a quiet place to sit when a particularly difficult or complicated issue comes up at work. Many times that few moments of silence is all that is needed for the answer to a problem to show itself. Silence is valuable.
Now that I’ve told you mine, what is your relationship to silence? Is it a good thing, or do you have better things to do with your time? Does silence make things you don’t want to think about crop up for you, or is it a comfort?
Sorry May Not Be The Hardest Word…
According to Sir Elton John, Sorry seems to be the hardest word. Although sorry is a heavy, heavy, word there may be an even harder word to deal with…forgive. Forgive can be an extremely difficult concept, especially when it comes to people, ourselves included. According to Merriam-Webster.com, this kind of forgiveness is defined as “to cease to feel resentment against.” Seems simple enough in theory, but it can be oh so hard in practice. Many people seem to think that to forgive someone they have to accept whatever the transgression has been as okay. That’s not true. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the violator but naming him/her, and everything to do with the victim.
And still it is sometimes so difficult to forgive. Knowing that it will free you, knowing that it will make you lighter, knowing that it will release the burden…still it can be so daunting. So some people keep dragging that burden around keep letting it make little cuts in their psyche, keep letting it hold them back, from the right relationship, the right job, the right whatever. Think about it, is there someone that still burns your chaps when you think about him/her? I bet there is. Maybe it’s an ex maybe it’s a family member or a friend, maybe it’s a stranger. Recently, for me, it was some previous coworkers.
I was recently reminded of my neglect in forgiving them when they ended up sitting in my line of sight at a local event. The first thing that entered my head was “You gotta be kidding me! There goes my afternoon!” Then “Really, you’re going to give these slime balls that kind of power?” I’m so grateful for those times that I can actually hear my quiet voice of reason whispering to me. She was right. That, my friends, is the power of forgiveness – the power to completely dissolve any power that someone has over you because of some transgression or violation they have perpetrated against you. As long as you haven’t forgiven them, they live rent free in your head all the time, affecting your thoughts, your actions, and how you feel. Did I walk up to them and say “Hey, yeah, uh, I forgive you.” Nope. That’s the cool thing about forgiveness, participation of the heathen violator is not necessary. One more thing that proves that forgiveness is for your own well-being, not that of the meanie that hurt you.
“But I’m still really mad!” you say. That’s okay. This was one of those particularly difficult forgivings for me, but I did it. I did it right then and there. Here’s how I know that it worked. I’m still pissed about what these people did, but it no longer sits in my heart like a cold, lead cannonball, weighing me down. My heart feels open and light like it should. You don’t have to give up your feelings and surrender; you just have to let the darkness out. You can work through the rest afterwards, but oddly enough, you can’t work it out and move on until you’ve done the forgiving part.
Have you ever had a hard time forgiving someone? I’d love to hear how you overcame it or how you’re working through it.
An Attitude of Gratitude
When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears. – Anthony Robbins
As defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary gratitude is the state of being grateful: THANKFULNESS. Well that cleared things right up didn’t it? Like many seekers, I believe the effects of gratitude are so much more than what this simple definition provides. Gratitude sets in motion wondrous and varied reciprocal actions for the person who sent out that little bit of gratitude to begin with. It’s truly amazing what a little gratitude can do.
God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you? – William A. Ward
We don’t even have to wait until something happens to grateful for it. We can be thankful in advance for whatever it is we are envisioning for the future, in fact gratitude helps manifest the things we are working on bringing to life. Gratitude lightens the heart, helps to keep us grounded, and focuses our attention on the positive rather than allowing us to dwell on the negative. Life has its ups and downs, the trick is to find the things to be grateful for in the downs as well as the ups. If nothing else, we can be grateful for the lesson a down time has shown us.
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. – Oprah Winfrey
Gratitude is an essential requirement of healthy spirituality and a healthy mental state. Gratitude is an integral part of the life of every person who has had, is having, or will have a positive effect on humanity. Gratitude is one of the cornerstones of greatness. It doesn’t have to be the kind of change-the-face-of-humanity greatness of Mother Theresa. If you’ve managed to teach your children true, heartfelt gratitude or managed to touch someone’s heart with gratitude, you already possess greatness. You have an attitude of gratitude!
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” – Melody Beattie
Daily, mindful practice of gratitude changes our perspective on life and everything around us. If you keep a journal try incorporating five things you are grateful for every day. Another way to practice gratitude is to think of five things you’re thankful for before you go to sleep each night. Taking time to meditate on the concept of gratitude and the things you are thankful for is another way to bring more of it into your life. Make a point to say thank you…and mean it. Show genuine appreciation where it is due and show gratitude for the lessons you’ve learned. It’s quite easy to find a myriad of ways to practice gratitude all through the day and it only makes each day, each life, better for you and those around you. How do you practice your attitude of gratitude?
For each new morning with its light, for rest and shelter of the night, for health and food, for love and friends, for everything Thy goodness sends. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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