According to Sir Elton John, Sorry seems to be the hardest word. Although sorry is a heavy, heavy, word there may be an even harder word to deal with…forgive. Forgive can be an extremely difficult concept, especially when it comes to people, ourselves included. According to Merriam-Webster.com, this kind of forgiveness is defined as “to cease to feel resentment against.” Seems simple enough in theory, but it can be oh so hard in practice. Many people seem to think that to forgive someone they have to accept whatever the transgression has been as okay. That’s not true. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the violator but naming him/her, and everything to do with the victim.
And still it is sometimes so difficult to forgive. Knowing that it will free you, knowing that it will make you lighter, knowing that it will release the burden…still it can be so daunting. So some people keep dragging that burden around keep letting it make little cuts in their psyche, keep letting it hold them back, from the right relationship, the right job, the right whatever. Think about it, is there someone that still burns your chaps when you think about him/her? I bet there is. Maybe it’s an ex maybe it’s a family member or a friend, maybe it’s a stranger. Recently, for me, it was some previous coworkers.
I was recently reminded of my neglect in forgiving them when they ended up sitting in my line of sight at a local event. The first thing that entered my head was “You gotta be kidding me! There goes my afternoon!” Then “Really, you’re going to give these slime balls that kind of power?” I’m so grateful for those times that I can actually hear my quiet voice of reason whispering to me. She was right. That, my friends, is the power of forgiveness – the power to completely dissolve any power that someone has over you because of some transgression or violation they have perpetrated against you. As long as you haven’t forgiven them, they live rent free in your head all the time, affecting your thoughts, your actions, and how you feel. Did I walk up to them and say “Hey, yeah, uh, I forgive you.” Nope. That’s the cool thing about forgiveness, participation of the heathen violator is not necessary. One more thing that proves that forgiveness is for your own well-being, not that of the meanie that hurt you.
“But I’m still really mad!” you say. That’s okay. This was one of those particularly difficult forgivings for me, but I did it. I did it right then and there. Here’s how I know that it worked. I’m still pissed about what these people did, but it no longer sits in my heart like a cold, lead cannonball, weighing me down. My heart feels open and light like it should. You don’t have to give up your feelings and surrender; you just have to let the darkness out. You can work through the rest afterwards, but oddly enough, you can’t work it out and move on until you’ve done the forgiving part.
Have you ever had a hard time forgiving someone? I’d love to hear how you overcame it or how you’re working through it.
Holy cows eating muffins in the barn on a Sunday! I am a humble recipient of the “One Lovely Blog Award!” Thanks so much to Amy, writer of Afternoon Popcorn Snack for the nomination! Amy’s blog on life in Oklahoma, simple recipes and photography is awsome! Love it! Being so new to this whole blogging thing I am truly honored, and blown away, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to share some great blogs. Thanks to my family, friends and fellow bloggers who comment on my posts. It’s so nice to know I’m not just talking to myself out here! 🙂
Rules of acceptance (as mentioned by other bloggers):
*thank the person who nominated you and link back to them in your post
*share 7 things about yourself
*nominate 15 or so bloggers you admire
*contact your chosen bloggers to let them know (this might take me a few days so please bear with me)
7 new things about myself
I am a recovering constant doubter and worrier.
I adore corny movies! Joe Versus the Volcano, Labyrinth, Dodgeball, The Emperor’s New Groove, and Miss Congeniality being among my favorites.
In addition to mainstream, I read indie/self-published books…lots of them! Shhh!
I spend at least 5 minutes doing absolutely nothing every day…it’s called meditation.
I talk to the animals…most of the time they don’t answer.
In addition to my bachelor degree, I have an honorary doctorate in religious philosophy; I’m an ordained minister, a licensed cosmetologist, and a public notary.
I’m just now figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. 😉
In all honesty, I’m so new at this I wasn’t sure that I would be following enough blogs to pull off a sufficient list, but I do…barely…and I’m adding to it all the time. So here’s some blogs that I have found to be inspiring, innovative, or just plain fun! Everyone has something to say, few have the courage to say it out loud. Thanks so much to the writers of these blogs (and many more I don’t know yet) for choosing to be courageous!
Oh beloved bread machine, where would I be without you. Slaving away half the day making lumps of dough, heating up the entire house with an oven in the summer when heat is the last thing we need. The customized little loaves you yield make my family so happy and I’m happy that their happy and we’re all happy when mom’s happy. <insert sound of record scratching>
Seriously, I think my bread machine is one of the best things since….since…well, since sliced bread. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against the traditional way of making bread and I have done my share of it and thoroughly enjoy it, but when you have a full-time job plus a myriad of other activities spinning around in your world, making bread the old-fashioned way becomes a rare treat. Then there’s the satisfaction of controlling the ingredients and knowing you’re making something wholesome for your family (if you choose your ingredients wisely). For me, it also means that I can also control the carbohydrates while still allowing the rest of the family to make yummy sandwiches and without paying $9 a loaf for bread. Just using stevia instead of sugar makes a big difference. However you do need one special ingredient, rapid rise bread machine yeast and on a side note, expect to have to experiment with making decent sourdough bread in a bread machine. Expect to end up buying sourdough starter. Breadtopia.com has a great one. Bread dough is also better to use in a bread machine, but not crucial.
Now a little bit about bread machines. There so many on the market and some are better than others. The biggest loaf you’re probably going to get is a 2lb loaf, but beware, you may not be able to find a bag to put it in as it will be a big loaf with slices approximately 4”w x 8”h or so. My bread machine will make a 1lb, 1.5lb, or 2lb loaf. More often than not I will use the 1lb setting because this makes better sandwich bread slices. Why did I bother to buy a machine that can do a 2lb loaf, do you ask? I’ll tell you; because 1lb machines don’t make loafs, they make unruly cubes. Plus, since I can use my machine to make bread dough and bake it off myself (after a final rise outside of the machine) the larger capacity comes in handy when we have guests.
Now that we have sizes down, let’s think about brands. I am on my third bread machine in a little less than a couple of decades and it is by far the best I’ve ever purchased. Good capacity, lots of versatility (it will even make jams, puddings, batter breads, and of course, pizza dough) and good, sturdy construction. My machine is a Breadman Pro breadmaker (pictured above). I got it in a warehouse sale at CHEFS catalog for an undisclosed amount. I adore it. Some other top rated machine brands include Zojirushi, Cuisinart, De Longhi, and Salton. Expect to pay about $100 to $150 USD for a good machine. Your machine will come with an instruction manual and recipes to get you started. From there, it’s easy to find other recipes on the web.
Keep in mind the main difference between baking bread in a machine and baking bread from scratch is that the machine is doing all the work, rising, and baking for you. The best breads start with a good recipe and these are not an exact science due to factors such as humidity, altitude, and quality of ingredients. Also, ingredients should be room temperature and the water should be warm enough to help activate the yeast (about 80˚F). Once you get the hang of it, you can make homemade bread any time you want. A favorite at my house and a big hit as Christmas gifts one year is an Italian herb bread that I got in my first bread machine user guide that I tweaked and kind of made my own. It’s simple enough that a beginner can easily make it. Here’s mine.
Bread Machine Italian Herb Bread – Yield 1-1lb Loaf
¾ cup + 2 tbsp. water
1-1/2 tbsp. Oil
1 tbsp. Sugar
1 tsp. Salt
1 tbsp. Dry Milk
2-1/4 cup bread flour
1-1/2 tsp. Dried Italian Seasoning
2 cloves of garlic (crushed)
1-1/2 tsp. Active Dry Yeast
Select your machine’s French bread course and hit start. Take a peek after a few minutes to make sure the dough is not too dry or wet. If it is, follow the recommendations in your machines user guide.
Do you have a favorite kitchen machine, gadget, or helper? What makes you so fond of it?
I have faithfully (or perhaps brazenly) reproduced Rachel Ray’s yummy version of this recipe here (don’t send me hate messages that she’s not a “real chef”, because I don’t care). It’s one of my favorite recipes because it’s so versatile. There are so many things you can put into this recipe, pineapple, broccoli, cauliflower, the list goes on and on. It’s almost one of those “whatever is in the fridge recipes”. You could also add meat, shrimp, scallops, or tofu. I’ve used spaghetti noodles to make this and it was terrific! I use a large electric skillet to make this since I don’t own a wok and find that it works well. I tend to use less noodles to cut down on the carbs.
2 tablespoons (2 turns around the pan in a slow drizzle) vegetable or wok oil
1 cup (2 handfuls) snow peas, halved on a diagonal
1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into match stick size pieces
1/2 pound assorted mushrooms (shiitake, straw, enoki, or oyster), coarsely chopped, if necessary
4 scallions, thinly sliced on a diagonal
2 cups (about 4 handfuls) fresh bean spouts
2 inches fresh ginger root, minced or grated with hand grater
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 pound lo mein noodles or thin spaghetti, cooked to al dente and drained well
1/2 cup aged tamari soy sauce
1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil, several drops
Heat a wok-shaped skillet or large non-stick skillet over high heat. When pan is very hot, add oil, (it will smoke a bit) then, immediately add the snow peas, pepper, mushrooms, scallions, and bean sprouts. Stir fry for 1 minute to flavor the oil, then add the ginger and garlic, and stir-fry 2 minutes. Add the cooked noodles and toss with to combine. Add the soy sauce and toss the ingredients to coat noodles evenly with sauce. Transfer the lo mein to a serving platter and garnish with a drizzle of toasted sesame oil.
Ahhh, comfort food. As I was indulging in making myself a breakfast of chipped beef on toast this morning I started wondering about comfort food. Why do we seek it? Which foods are comfort foods to whom? Why do they make us feel so good? Why are they so vilified by modern diet gurus and dieticians alike? I began sifting through all the things I’d heard, read, and saw about comfort food over the years.
Why do we seek comfort food? The answer is simple and yet quite complicated. We seek comfort food to feel better or to celebrate feeling good. Women do more of the former, and men do more of the latter. Comfort food, loosely defined is the kind of food that makes us wax nostalgic, or is connected to something or someone we are sentimental about. It’s simple to prepare and usually high in calories and or nutrients. Mom’s macaroni and cheese, for example (and I’m not talking about that stuff in the blue box at the supermarket). If this is true, the yearning for comfort food stems from a complicated psychological process in which the food itself, usually high in carbs and calories, causes a certain reaction in the brain that gives us a feeling of comfort and warmth.
I snooped around the internet for some lists of comfort foods. Of course these foods vary from culture to culture. In the U.S. the list includes apple pie, mac and cheese, and fried chicken (chipped beef on toast was not on any list I saw). British comfort foods include bangers and mash, fish and chips, and chocolate cake, Indonesia – fried banana, in Canada – poutine, fries, gravy, and some old cheese, or so I’ve gathered from National Geographic, among other internet sources.
So how do we reconcile our beloved comfort foods with our modern understanding of dietary needs and recommendations? There are a few ways of doing this. One, avoid comfort food altogether. It makes you feel good, and let’s face it, anything that makes you feel good is either going to give you cancer or make you fat. Two, indulge occasionally. A hearty bowl of home-made mac and cheese every now and again isn’t going to kill you. Three, indulge whenever you like, but keep the portions small and reasonable and balance it with healthy foods such as salads. Think of a dinner plate full of salad with a side of spaghetti that is about the size of a deck of playing cards. Option three works especially well if you eat all the salad first then continue on to the comfort food.
So in the name of comfort food lovers everywhere, I humbly submit my recipe for chipped beef on toast; one of my favorite comfort foods right up there with home-made mac and cheese and chili.
¼ cup butter
¼ cup flour
¼ tsp pepper
1 – 2 dashes cayenne pepper (more if you like it spicy)
2 cups milk
8 pieces of toast (buttered)
1 container dried beef
Melt butter in saucepan. Add flour, pepper, and cayenne and cook until mixture slightly browns. Slowly add milk whisking vigorously to avoid lumps. Briefly bring to a boil, stirring frequently until sauce begins to thicken then turn heat to low.
Cut dried beef into ribbons or small chuncks (recommended for children). Start toast.
Stir dried beef into sauce. Butter toast, place desired number of toast pieces on a plate and spoon sauce over them and enjoy!
In the tradition of option number three for the healthy eating of comfort food, this recipe would be 8 servings. In our house, we usually opt for option number two which would make this recipe more like 2 servings. However, the recipe is easily expanded to feed more. Would love to give you a picture, but the camera is having difficulties. I am working on them.
Learning how not to be taken advantage of when you’re an open, empathic heart is difficult. It’s taken a long time for me to learn that saying “no” is, in many cases, better than saying “yes”. Here’s the thing about being there for everyone all the time…it’s exhausting and it doesn’t really help anyone, including you, especially if you are being taken advantage of or used you as a crutch. Saying “yes” when everything in you is screaming “no” is wrong. Yes, it is. Think about that obligatory function that you promised you’d go to with your coworker or friend even though you hate “functions” and you’re especially not into the topic. What happened when she asked you to go? Did your chest tighten up? Was there a voice in your head screaming “NO” while another was trying to find justification for saying no, while another was trying to convince you that it wouldn’t be that bad and you’d get to spend time with your friend? Did your throat start to feel like it wanted to close up? Did you already feel guilty for even thinking of saying no?
If none of this has ever happened to you, good for you! You apparently know how to say “no” in no uncertain terms. You probably won’t be interested in anything further said here. Have a nice day.
As for the rest of us who have been faced with the hard “no’s” this is for you. IT’S OKAY TO SAY NO…………TO ANYTHING! There. I said it. It’s out in the open and I feel fabulous! You do not have to be a doormat. You do not have to hold anyone else up. You can focus on the stuff you need/want.
Where is all this coming from, you may ask? Well, as I began taking writing seriously and started writing for a purpose (and hopefully make a buck or two) I learned something pretty quickly. I had to take myself seriously as a writer if I expected others to take me seriously. That meant that my writing time had to become sacred no matter whether anyone else understood it or not. It’s my job to make the people in my life understand that I am working when I am writing just as much as if I were going to the office. That means that if I’m at work I am not available to go to functions that aren’t relevant to my job or no longer fit into my plans, do favors that I wouldn’t ordinarily do while I’m on the clock and so on. When I am writing, I am on the clock and people will only take that as seriously as I do.
I’m not saying that you get to arbitrarily say “no”. All I’m saying is seriously think about the things that you’re saying “yes” to that really, really make you want to pull your hair out and examine why “no” might be a better answer. Also, think about why you want to say “no” as this could be very enlightening. If you’re saying “no” out of fear, then maybe you should think about saying “yes” (unless your fear is that saying yes will immediately lead to another situation where you are once again forced to say “yes” or “no”). Empower yourself to be you!
Epic fail! It is with sincere humility I write today. I have found out that whirlwind vacations, keeping up with a blog, keeping up with book writing and keeping up with a job search proved too much for me. So the answer to my question in an earlier blog (before I went on vacation) would be…yes and no to writing while you’re on vacation. Although I totally overwhelmed myself, I learned so much! I ended up blowing off any writing on the last two days of vacation and just kicked back instead, which turned out to be a wise move.
I spent most of my vacation stressing about splitting my time between my family and my writing, which was exactly the situation I didn’t want to find myself in. I didn’t want the guys to think I was disengaged and not interested, but at the same time I really wanted to keep up with my writing. This resulted in me going back to our rooms at night while they stayed out at the casino. It wasn’t a huge leap for me to do this since I’m not much of a gambler anyway. Walking around the casinos and up and down the strip is fun, but I’m just not into the gambling thing. What little money I gambled, I lost. Since I was back in our rooms earlier and therefore in bed earlier, I was up earlier and used that time to my advantage to write as well. The problem was that I didn’t have much down time. I was either on the go with the guys or writing although we did have a couple of days where we spent two or three hours by the pool and then I was reading.
I wrote in the car during our driving days when I wasn’t taking pictures out of the car windows. This was somewhat productive, but there comes a time, whether writing at the condo or in the car after a full day, that one becomes just too tired and brain dead. This was what frustrated me the most. I wanted to do more, but my brain had had enough. When it comes to my blog, I don’t want to put out anything other than my best work. I’d rather not post than post something sub-par.
This week I have been recuperating from vacation (if you caught any of my road trip blogs you would know we were extremely busy), redoubling my job hunt efforts and catching up on book writing. I’ve missed my blog very much and I’m happy to get back to it. I’ve learned that if I want to write on vacation I need to pick only one or two writing projects to keep up with and that includes my personal, daily journal. I’ve learned that if I want to write on vacation I have to do a better job of balancing activities, writing, and down time. The brain and the soul need down time, time doing nothing to recharge creativity and even logical thinking. I’ve learned that it’s okay to put the writing aside and be present for the vacation rather than worrying about getting it all done. That’s what work is, not vacation. I learned that I should stop along the road any time the mood strikes me and take more pictures (although I took some 200 anyway, many with windshield bug splatters in them). I learned that I don’t have to spend every minute with everyone else. I found that I just can’t bring myself to drag my laptop to the pool. It just seems to be in violation of some law of relaxation or something…kind of like using your smartphone at the table. It’s just not right. Maybe I’ll change my mind at a later time, or maybe I would feel differently if I had regular access to a pool and it wasn’t something of a treat for me.
Recharged and refreshed. I am now ready to continue. I look forward to sharing more about my six-state adventures and other cool stuff. Wow, when you put it that way, six states in nine days; that is really busy! No wonder I was having trouble keeping up! Maybe this wasn’t such and epic fail after all.
How much down time, if any, do you build into your vacations? Do you like to cram a lot of activities in or do you like to hang out by the pool all day?
The Mojave Desert is home to the largest forest of Joshua trees in the world.
On Wednesday, we left the comfort of our rooms at the Grandview Resort in Las Vegas for the open road once again. We were headed about 4-5 hours west to the mega-metropolis that is L.A. With high hopes and anxious with expectation we took to the road snapping pictures of the Mojave Desert (that holds the largest Joshua Tree forest in the world) as we went. We gleefully entertained thoughts of wading in the ocean waters and seeing the sights of Hollywood, the Sunset Strip, Venice Beach, the Santa Monica Pier, and maybe a celebrity or two.
Fisherman's rods set off the end of the Santa Monica pier
After driving through the picturesque desert and mountains east of the city, we arrived in L.A. on Wednesday afternoon. The first place we visited was Santa Monica Beach and pier. We walked through the warm sand down to the water, which was ice cold of course. Thank goodness we expected this. A tiny crab promptly got caught on the toe of my son’s sandal sending him into a brief tizzy to get the “bug” out of his sandal. A lesson for my son on his first ocean beach visit – yes, critters live in the sand.
We went down to the Santa Monica pier with its merry-go-round, Ferris Wheel, assorted other amusement park rides, street performers, fishermen, vendors hawking everything from rocks to “I Love L.A. T-shirts, and other characters. A friend once told me that once I went to the Caribbean that the waters off the coast of California would hold no attraction for me anymore. She was right. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of great things about California and I really liked the San Diego/La Jolla area, but that green, murky water is just not comparable to the crystal clear blue of the Caribbean. Still, a beach is a beach and any time spent under the warm sun on a beach is a good time as far as I’m concerned.
We then hit Hollywood Boulevard. We walked up and down a few blocks of the Walk of Fame near Grauman’s Chinese theater. The rich history of the theater and its surrounding area was palpable in the air.
I took pictures of things like the Grauman Theater, the handprints of the original Star Trek crew, Joan Crawford, and Michael Jackson at the theater, and the stars of Ray Harryhausen (not sure anyone would recognize his name these days), Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, and Aretha Franklin.
Griffith Observatory
The last thing we did on Wednesday was to search for a place to get a good picture of the Hollywood sign. We ended up in Griffith Park at the observatory of the same name. Given all the smog I wondered how long it had been since the observatory had been operational. Upon closer inspection, it seems that the observatory is now allowing the telescopes to be used for public viewing. Even with all this viewing power at our disposal, we were still too far away for my son to get the picture he wanted so when we came across a park ranger we asked if there was any way we could get a better picture. He obliged and we were off on our quest for the perfect picture of the Hollywood sign. It took us about 45 minutes to travel about two miles to the short trail that led to a hilltop with a great view of the sign. L.A. traffic is (very dramatic pause) interesting. Fun fact, each letter of the Hollywood sign has an adoptive “A” list caretaker. I’m told this list includes Alice Cooper and Hugh Hefner.
As darkness descended we went to our hotel room to get some shuteye before our tour of Paramount Studios and the drive back to Vegas. We awoke early on day two in L.A. to make a quick side trip to Venice Beach. We were there before the street vendors had even begun to think about setting up shop. As we made our way down to the water I saw other people already up and at ‘em, roller blading, biking, walking, running, jogging, and doing yoga on the beach. Once settled on our spot we stared out in silence at the water, each of us wrapped up in our own thoughts for a few moments and then we were off for our studio tour.
Our tour guide was Taylor. Taylor kind of looked like a bad imitation of George Michael in his Wham! days and had nearly perfect annunciation and diction. I suppose maybe that comes in handy if you’re a page at Paramount Studios. It turns out that the pages at Paramount do not have scripts. It seems they are encouraged to do their own research and come up with their own version of the tour. I have to admit, even though I’m no stranger to a staged setting it was kind of strange seeing streetlights with electrical plugs and the magnitude of some of their sets was amazing. I took two
Inside one of the New York set buildings the contrast between the old wood structure saved from the fire and the new steel construction can be seen
favorite stories from this tour. One was the story of how William Shatner single handedly saved part of the New York City outdoor set in nothing but his Star Trek uniform top and his boxers. Grabbing a fire hose, he shouted orders to others on the scene and began fighting the fire himself. The second was learning how the parting of the Red Sea was done in the Ten Commandments (I have a special affinity for the golden age of cinema). The pool area that was used for the sea is now a parking lot but is still emptied of cars from time to time for ocean and water scenes that can be filmed against the giant sky mural at one end. Although the story of how Michael Keaton climbed the water tower on a dare to prove that he wasn’t afraid of heights only to find that he truly was once he was at the top and had to be brought down by the fire department, runs a close third. We didn’t see much in the way of celebrities, but we did catch a glimpse of some of the cast of the TV show Glee. I respected studio rules and refrained from taking pictures. Hey, I’m not the paparrazi.
Once our tour was done we grabbed some lunch and then, with our whirlwind two days in L.A. over, we were on the road again on our way back to Vegas. By this point we are all getting a little homesick. I checked in with our house/pet sitter and she said she wanted to steal our pets because they are so sweet and loving. With a pang in my heart for Jasmine, our dog, and Gracie, our cat, I texted her back thanking her and politely telling her she’d have to find her own cat and dog.
Next stop Vegas, and a Cirque Du Soleil Show called “Ka”. Also, keep your eyes peeled in the coming weeks for expansions on some of my vacation entries. I feel like we’ve been doing so much that I haven’t given some things enough attention and others have received no attention at all.
How do you vacation? Do you like to do lots of stuff and see everything or are you an all-inclusive type that likes to stay on a resort lounging by the pool, soaking up the sun, and maybe a little liquor?
K.A. Olgren Stories 'n' More 